brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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