Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
