You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize