We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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