a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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