Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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