I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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