we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
