On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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