I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
