I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
