Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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