I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize