Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize