I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
