its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
