Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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