she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
