I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
