Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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