Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
