i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
