We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
