How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
