I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
