If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I'm really busy with my period
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