You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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