the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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