would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
