There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize