almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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