is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Text me some of your sweat
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
