Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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