we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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