Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
