fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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