My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize