i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize