So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize