whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
