the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
