I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
