My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
