Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
