summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
