We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
