i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
