my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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