I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
