kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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