Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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