I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize