WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
