My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
