Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
