I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
